Regarding the likely strong influence the WT's negative messaging has had on me emotionally since my very early childhood notice the following mentioned at https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/wrong-with-being-jehovahs-witness.php .
'The 1958 From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained book was used as the Bible stories book for children until the 1978 release of My Book of Bible Stories. As a child I had recurrent nightmares of falling off a cliff and I have little doubt that the following pictures and text from page 209 had damaging affects on myself and other impressionable children.
... To be a Witness requires a special thinking process, one that motivates a person to urgency in these unprecedented wicked 'last days'. Negative imagery is constantly presented to keep members in a constant downcast state about the people around and the times we live in. Global catastrophies are welcomed as 'proof' that few years are left before Armageddon.
... The reality of the times we live in is quite different. A study of history shows that now is a time of comparable peace. Human rights, particularly for women and children are far greater than ever. Medical advances mean that the life expectancy in many countries has doubled in the last 100 years and can be enjoyed with far less pain. The average person living in developed countries enjoy luxuries few Kings had access to in centuries gone by. It was stated in the March 24-28th 2005 Australian Financial Review that we are living in the healthiest, most peaceful, best period of time in all history.
The Watchtower needs to prove conditions are far worse than they really are to prove it to be the Last Days and create urgency in followers to devote themselves to growing the organisation. Healthy religions do not need to create negative urgency as they are based around serving God rather than serving for salvation. Positive religions focus on improvement in life by establishment of schools, hospitals and charities, whilst a Witness waits and waits for a future time when things will get better.
... As standard with high control groups, members are discouraged from associating with people not part of the group; to be "no part of the world". The Watchtower view of "worldly people" is insidiously pervasive. In Watchtower publications and at meetings the evilness of all aspects of the world and its people is presented so consistently that it becomes mentally invasive to the point that in my opinion it damages a followers grip on reality.
...
... "While some contact with worldly people is unavoidable - at work, at school, and otherwise - we must be vigilant so as to keep from being sucked back into the death-dealing atmosphere of this world. ... Let the world go along in its way, reaping its bad fruitage in the form of broken homes, illegitimate births, sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, and countless other emotional and physical woes." Watchtower 1987 Sep 15 p.12 Breathing This World's "Air" Is Death-Dealing!
... The Watchtower is particularly harsh in its descriptions of members of other religions, including Christians. So strong were Rutherfords denunciations on other religions that one newspaper described the early Bible Students as a religion of hate. The venomous terminology used has continued down to this day.
... (3) WE ABHOR anti-God philosophies and practices, so common in Christendom, such as evolution, blood transfusions, abortions, lying, greed, and dishonesty. In our worship and way of life, WE WILL HONOR our Creator, Jehovah God, the Almighty, whose ways are described at Revelation 15:3 as "righteous and true."
... As previously discussed in detail, the Watchtower teaches that shortly the "billions of people who do not know Jehovah [will] perish during the great tribulation." (w93 10/1 p.19) The billions of rotting cadavers will be left as "Birds and beasts gorge themselves on the unburied bodies of Gog's crowd." (w88 9/15 p.26) This inhumane picture invalidates the existence of virtually every one of a Witnesses neighbors, school friends and workmates.
In the following picture Jehovah's Witnesses are shown smiling as the world and its billions of inhabitants are destroyed at Armageddon.
... By describing worldly people in the vilest of terms forms a negative and unrealistic opinion of anyone that is not a Jehovah's Witnesses. Those raised as Jehovah's Witnesses do not know any better and often believe that all worldly people are bad and not be trusted, holding deep seated fear of leaving the Watchtower Society. Even when I no longer believed Watchtower doctrine I held tremendous fear of leaving, believing I would never find true friends or happiness and quite probably become suicidal. The opposite has occurred.
Does God Really Care About Us? (1992) p.22
... No one comes in for more degrading references than "apostates", those that stop believing Watchtower represents the only true religion.
"Persons who deliberately spread (stubbornly hold to and speak about) teachings contrary to Bible truth as taught by Jehovah's Witnesses are apostates." Pay Attention to Yourself and to All the Flock p.94
Apostates are considered and treated worse than adulterers, paedophiles and murderers. Apostates must not be spoken to and their books must not be read. They must be "loathed" and "hated", are said to eat from the "table of demons", and are "reserved for destruction"; strong words indeed. So dominant is this fear that the Watchtower labels all apostates as part of the antichrist, which is unfair as many apostates remain as Christians. Consider the following statements.
"Apostasy is, in reality, a rebellion against Jehovah." Watchtower 1993 Oct 1 p.19
"How can we safeguard ourselves from following the course of ridiculers? One way is to avoid associating with those who show a critical attitude. (Read Psalm 1:1.) This means that we do not listen to or read anything from apostates." Watchtower Study Edition October 2022 p.20
"Satan was the first creature to turn apostate. Modern-day apostates display characteristics similar to those of the Devil. Their mind may be poisoned by a critical attitude toward individuals in the congregations, Christian elders, or the Governing Body. Some apostates oppose the use of the divine name, Jehovah. They are not interested in learning about Jehovah or in serving him. Like their father, Satan, apostates target people of integrity. (John 8:44) No wonder servants of Jehovah avoid all contact with them!" Examining the Scriptures Daily 2011 Aug 18 p.83
"Some apostates are increasingly using various forms of mass communication, including the Internet, to spread false information about Jehovah's Witnesses." Watchtower 2000 May 1 p.10
"For one thing, some of the apostate literature presents falsehoods by means of "smooth talk" and "counterfeit words." (Romans 16:17, 18; 2 Peter 2:3) What would you expect from the table of demons? ... Those who have continued to feed at Satan's spiritual table, the table of demons, will be forced to attend a literal meal, no, not as partakers, but as the main course-to their destruction!" Watchtower 1994 Jul 1 p.12
"True Christians share Jehovah's feelings toward such apostates; they are not curious about apostate ideas. On the contrary, they "feel a loathing" toward those who have made themselves God's enemies, but they leave it to Jehovah to execute vengeance." Watchtower 1993 Nov 1 p.19
"The obligation to hate lawlessness also applies to all activity by apostates. Our attitude toward apostates should be that of David, who declared: "Do I not hate those who are intensely hating you" Watchtower 1992 Jul 15 pp.12-13 Christ Hated Lawlessness-Do You?
"But remember, in this case Jehovah is the One who tells us in his Word what to do. And what does he say about apostates? "Avoid them" (Romans 16:17, 18); "quit mixing in company with" them (1 Corinthians 5:11); and "never receive [them] into your homes or say a greeting to [them]" (2 John 9, 10)." Watchtower 1986 Mar 15 p.13
"Such ones [apostates] willfully abandoning the Christian congregation thereby become part of the 'antichrist.' (1 John 2:18, 19)" Watchtower 1985 Jul 15 p.31
"With apostates earth wide being destroyed, what reason can one have for confidence of life in paradise to follow?" Kingdom Ministry Sep 1973 p.6... When a person is first introduced to Watchtower doctrine, the appearance is of a loving, peaceful organisation with a wonderful hope for the future. Peel back the layers and what lies underneath is the antithesis. Whilst presented as a religion of love, a fundamental component of the message is the destruction of billions of non-believing "worldly" people. Members are constantly reminded of their sinfulness, and requirement to work harder at what are thinly veiled demands to provide labour and resources to grow the organisation. It is a religion of extreme control, dictated by a Governing Body that must not be questioned, without dire consequences. This side is rarely fully appreciated prior to baptism.'
When I was a very young child (and to a lessor extent even as an older child) I often had very terrifying nightmares. Maybe those nightmares were the result of me studying (why I was a very young child) the WT's book from 1958 called From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained and seeing its extremely horrid pictures, as well as studying other literature of the WT.
I need to purge my subconscious mind of the very harmful programming which was done to me by studying WT literature as a child, in order to become happy.